You Never Know Which Track the Train is Taking...

in a kindergarten room.

It started innocently enough. Just reading a story about Mr. McMouse (Lionni). No big deal. Predictably, the mice get trapped by a cat in an old cage. The city mouse sings a lullaby to the cat. Cat falls asleep. Mice escape. The end.

Except.

NT: When I was a baby, my mom put me on her chest and I could feel her heartbeat and I went to sleep. (referring to lullabies)

Me: Yes, babies love to hear their mommy's heartbeat. When they are in their mommy's tummy, they hear the heartbeat and they feel all cozy. After they are born they like to lay on mommy's chest and hear the heartbeat. (complete with motions of heart beating and thump, thumping).

RM: What about when the mommy's dead?

(Me: thinking, WHERE did that come from???)

Me: Well, they get the baby and give it to someone to take care of (notice avoidance of how).

AW: The baby comes out of the pee-pee.

(PLEASE train, slow down so I can stop it!)

(Students rush on with this suddenly ferociously interesting topic, without any pauses between comments, seriously!)

SW: No, only dogs and cats and farm animals are born like that.

TD: It comes out the butt. But not me. I came out my mommy's stomach.

Me: (after a few but how questions by other students) You need to talk to your mommy about that. Now...

NT: (blurting out) Bella had a baby in her stomach and he had to break a bunch of glass and get a piece and cut open her stomach (complete with motions) and get the baby out.


WHOA! REALLY?

Immediately the train detoured to Twilight land.

LD: I have ALL 4 of the Twilight movies.

Various other students: Me, too. I've seen those. Uh-huh.

Screeeecccchhhhh! This train is stopping at the OFF THE SUBJECT station. Flurry of motion and energy to changing tracks.

Me: Ok, boys and girls, it's time to...(and we continue on in the normal hectic life of k students).

I don't know which is worse for 5-6 year olds who do not stop to breathe, but only rush on to the next comment they can squeak out of their mouths ~

the birds and the bees or the Twilight series?